I-Psychology yamadoda ngokuphathelene nomshado noma kungani amadoda engafuni ukushada?

Iminye imibhangqwana ihlangana futhi ihlale ndawonye iminyaka engaphezu konyaka, kodwa ekugcineni lobudlelwane buphela ngesikhathi sokuphumula, hhayi emshadweni njengabesifazane abaningi abangathanda. Kungani amadoda engafuni ukushada nowesifazane owayeboshwe yizinsizi eziningi nenjabulo futhi kungani bengakhethi abesifazane abafanelekayo kubafazi babo ? I-Psychology yamadoda ingachazwa, kulesi sihloko sizozama ukudalula zonke izimfihlo zesimo sabantu besilisa futhi sithole ukuthi, ekugcineni, ukuthi singashada kanjani othandekayo.

Umbuzo oyinhloko: kungani amadoda engaba ngu-50 edlule eyashadile ngokuzithandela futhi edala imindeni?

Okokuqala, indoda yathola ubudlelwano bobulili kuphela ngemva kokubhalisa umshado. Futhi ngenxa yokuthi abantu badinga isidumbu sowesifazane, lokhu kwakuyisikhuthazo esikhulu somshado.

Okwesibili, ukukhulumisana isikhathi eside neyintombazane ayithandayo kwakunzima. Ngokungangabazeki, ukukhulumisana okuncane - amabhayisikobho, izimbali, ukuthandana kanye nezinkanyezi ngaphansi kwefasitela - kwakungavunyelwe, kodwa ukuthi abantu abasha bahlala ndawonye ngaphambi komshado noma beza ukulala ebusuku, lokhu akukwazanga ukuxoxwa.

Okwesithathu, ngaphambi komshado, intombazane yayiyinto eyinhloko yokunqotshwa, kodwa akekho owesifazane owenza njalo futhi ecela okuthile kumuntu njalo.

Yini esiyibonayo esikhathini sethu? Kungani i- psychology yamadoda ebuhlotsheni nabesifazane ishintsha kakhulu? Ngakho, ukuze:

Ukufinyelela kwamahhala emzimbeni wesifazane.

Namuhla, amantombazane alala embhedeni emva kokuqala kokuqala, uma kungenjalo umzuzu wokuqala wokuphola. Kungani ubulili bomshado futhi ungakwenza kanjalo. Yiqiniso, lokhu kuyindaba eyimfihlo kuwo wonke umuntu, kodwa khumbula, kumabhinqa afinyelela kalula, amadoda angashadi. Ngendlela, ifilimu efundisayo ethi "Amantombazane" ingokoqobo I-psychology yamadoda ngaphambi komshado.

Abaningi bayothi: kunezinye izikhathi, manje akunakwenzeka ukudala ubuhlobo ngaphandle kocansi ngaphambi komshado. Kodwa lokho okushiwo ngenhla akukhona kulokhu, kepha ukuthi ubudlelwane obunzima kufanele bufakwe ukuze umfana angaboni kuphela, kodwa futhi ufuna ukuzuza emithwalweni yomshado, futhi, njengoba kuyaziwa, inzuzo eyinhloko ubuhlobo bobulili obuzinzile. Okusho ukuthi, ngokuvumelana nemibono yabantu, ubulili emshadweni kufanele bube ngokwengeziwe ngokomthetho, bunjani kakhulu, futhi buhlale bunomphela - yilokho okushiwo yi-psychology yamadoda.

Isizathu sesibili esenza abantu benqabe ukushada ukuxhumana nentombazane.

Kuyinto yokuxhumana ephakamisa isithakazelo kowesifazane. Ufuna ukwazi ulwazi oluthe xaxa kusuka kulabo abathandekayo nabathandayo. Ayaziwa ukuthi yini ngempela emnyathelisa emshadweni - ubudlelwane obuseduze noma ukuxhumana kwekhwalithi. Ngokwemvelo kungacatshangwa 50/50.

Intsha yanamuhla yavela ngendlela enhle - kungani uhamba endaweni ethile, uhlangana nsuku zonke? Kuyoba lula ukuhlangana ndawonye futhi uhlale ndawonye - ukwazi omunye nomunye. Lapha indoda futhi ibonisa: yini okudingekayo emshadweni, izidakamizwa ezingenasisekelo, umthwalo - konke futhi kuyaphawuleka. Owesifazane ulindele futhi ulinde - yilokho umehluko phakathi kwengqondo yabesilisa nabesifazane . Ngakho-ke, ngaphambi kokuguqula, kungcono ukucabanga izikhathi eziyinkulungwane uma ufuna ukushada le ndoda.

Isizathu sesithathu - ukufunwa njalo nokuhlambalaza kumuntu intombazane.

Lapho abantu abasha beqala ukuhlala njengomshado womphakathi, owesifazane uqala ukubona indoda njengendoda yakhe - ngakho-ke ukuhlambalaza okuhlukahlukene, izingxabano, njll. Kodwa lo mfana akazizwa endimeni yendoda futhi engacabangi nentombazane ehlala naye nomkakhe. Umphumela: baxabana - babaleka.

Isiphi isiphetho esingasithola kulokhu?

Ngokuvamile kuvame ukuthi lo mfana unelisekile izithakazelo zakhe nezifiso ngisho nangaphambi komshado. Wayegcwele ubuhlobo, impilo ebuseduze nezidingo - kungani manje ushada. Lokhu akumangazi - lena yi-axiom yokuphila.

Abanye bayothi: "Ngempela, umshado uzoba okufanayo - ukuxhumana, ucansi, impilo." - Njengaba logic, kodwa akulungile. Ukubhalisa ubudlelwane njalo kuhlanganisa abantu, kungemva komshado ukuthi impahla ehlangene, izingane, abangane abavamile, njll zivela.

Umyeni nomfazi bazizwa benesibopho komunye nomunye, futhi uma izingane zikhula emndenini, khona-ke lokhu kuyimfanelo emibili. Kuvela ukuthi i-psychology yamadoda ayikho konke okunzima nakwezinye izindawo ngisho nokuqonda futhi okunengqondo. Uma ufuna ukushada, ungabhala ngokuphelele ngaphambi komuntu.