Indlela yokuphendula ngokunyanyisa nokukhwabanisa nokuthi ngabe kufanele kwenziwe nhlobo

Maye, umuntu uphoqeleka ukuba abhekane nesimo sengqondo esiphezulu kuyo yonke indawo. Akekho onganikeza incazelo enembile yalokhu kuziphatha, kodwa lokho kungaphanga kalula isimo sengqondo.

Kuyini ukukhwabanisa? Okokuqala, kuwubuqili, izinkulumo ezihlambalazayo, amazwi ahlambalaza aqondiswe kumuntu othize. Ungathola indawo engafaneleki: emsebenzini, ezokuthutha zomphakathi, esitolo nasekhaya. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, kungenzeka ukuthi uhlambalaze umuntu ngendlela ephihliwe futhi engabonakali.

Ngokungangabazeki, isizathu salesi simo sisezindabeni zemfundo kanye nokungabikho okuphelele kwesiko. Kodwa ingabe kuyadingeka ukuba usabele ngokunyanyisa? Indlela yokuphendula ngokunyanyisa futhi kungadingekile? Zikhona yini ezinye izindlela ezithuthukisiwe zokuziphatha "zokuziphatha" ezijezisa umuntu okhubazekile owazivumela ukuba alwe nesinye isiqondiso somuntu?

Yiqiniso, umkhuba wokuphendula ukukhwabanisa nokukhwabanisa kuvela ebuntwaneni, kanti imvelo lapho umuntu akhuliswe khona kubaluleke kakhulu lapha. Uma ama-scandals kanye nezingxabano bevame ukungena emndenini, ehambisana nokuhlukunyezwa nokuhlukunyezwa okuqhubekayo, ingane isivele iyayazi impendulo yombuzo wokuthi ungayiphendula kanjani ukunyanyisa ngokunyanyisa. Kamuva isibonelo esinjalo sokuziphatha siba semvelo kuye.

Ochwepheshe bathi umuntu, ukuthumela amagama okufumbathisa ngaphandle, akafuni ukususa "ekulinganiseni ngokomzwelo" othile othize. Ngale ndlela uzama ukuzibamba, yilokho abona khona iqiniso, lapho abantu abasha begule khona, bonke ama-blondes bayisiphukuphuku ngokwemvelo yabo, futhi bonke abantu balahlekile.

Ake sicabangele ngokuningiliziwe umbuzo wokuthi ungasabela kanjani ekunyameni ngokunyanyisa. Ingabe kuwufanele? Ochwepheshe bakholelwa ukuthi cha. Ukukopisha ithoni le-rude, ngaleyo ndlela sifana naye futhi empeleni akukho lutho oluvela kuye luhlukile.

Ukuze uphendule ngokweqile ukunyanyisa kuyindlela edla amandla futhi engekho emthethweni. Ngokuzakhela amacebo abo okuziphatha ngale ndlela, umuntu uzokwandisa nje ukulwa, okungaguqulelwa "ukulwa nokulwa" nemiphumela emibi kakhulu. Futhi uma umonile enommese noma, nakakhulu, isibhamu esiyingozi? Ngokukopisha imodeli yokuziphatha komuntu onesihluku, asiqedi lesi simo esibi, kodwa, ngokuphambene nalokho, sandisa inombolo yabo. Kule ndaba, umbuzo wokuthi ungayiphendula kanjani inkohliso, ucela impendulo engavamile: "Ayikho indlela."

Ngokuvamile kunesimo lapho ukhuluma ngomuntu okwanele ngomlomo futhi wakwenza, kunalokho, ngokukhathala noma ukuphazamiseka kwemizwa. Uma ungaphenduli ku "caustic" yakhe, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uyoba namahloni ngamazwi akhe. Futhi kungenzeka ukuthi uzoxolisa kuwe. Kodwa-ke, uma uzama ukuphendula kuye okufanayo, ngaleyo ndlela wengeze ngaphezulu "amafutha emlilweni", yena, emva kokulwa kwengxabano, uzozizwa kahle, okuyiqiniso.

Abanye banesithakazelo embuzweni wokuthi bangafunda kanjani ukuphendula ukukhwabanisa kwabantu abaye bazuza imali, udumo nesimo esiphakeme emphakathini. Iqiniso liwukuthi isimo "senkanyezi" asivumeli muntu ukuba ahlambalaze. Uma omunye wabo engamaqhinga, kungcono ukweqa amazwi amangazayo "ngezindlebe" noma ngandlela-thile uhleka. Ukuzijabulisa kule simo kungumsizi wokuqala.

Kunoma yikuphi, uma usukhubekile ngamazwi, kufanele uphonse engqondweni yakho mayelana nokuthi ungaphendula kanjani ngokungahambi kahle. Zama nje ukubonisa isihawu ngodlame olubi.