Inhlangano engokomoya ehlakaniphile: iseluleko kubanikazi bayo

"Ukucabangela kuyadingeka engqondweni njengomusa emzimbeni," kusho uHelvetius. Futhi yini ngempela eyaziwa emphakathini ngokuthi ngubani onjalo onenhlangano yomphefumulo ofihlakeleyo? Esikhathini sokuqwashisa kwabantu abaningi ngokuvamile kuwuhlobo lwezithombe ezihlangene, okubandakanya ukulalela umculo we-classic, ukubhuka nokuhluleka ukuxazulula imibuzo enzima. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi lokhu kunjalo nokuthi yini ekushiwo kwengqondo kulo mkhakha, kuyafaneleka ukuqonda.

Inhlangano yomphefumulo oyinhloko: i-psychology yokuhlukana komuntu ngamunye

Kubantu abazicabangela ukuthi bangaphansi kwalesi sigaba, kubalulekile ukwazi zonke izici zomqondo ukuze baqonde kangcono ubuntu babo, kodwa futhi banqume amandla abo nobuthakathaka babo, balwela ukuvumelana phakathi kwabo kanye nobuhlobo nabantu.

Umqondo othize we "inhlangano yomphefumulo ofihlakeleyo" ekuziphendukeni kwengqondo awukho. Kunalokho, bachaza umuntu okhuluma ngohlobo olubucayi ngendlela efanayo (kusuka ebucayini be-English - "ebucayi").

Lesi sici sibonisa umuntu ozwela kakhulu, onamahloni, okwazi ukubhekana ngenxa yezenzakalo ezincane, okwenziwe ukwanda kokukhathazeka nokushintsha kwemizwelo. Imizwa eminingi ehlangenwe nakho ifaka phakathi kokubili okushiwo yi-affective states (injabulo, i-elation, i-euphoria), nokubi kakhulu (ukunganaki, ukucindezeleka, ukuphelelwa ithemba). Ukushintsha kwemizwa enjalo kubangelwa yizici zangaphandle: izenzakalo, amazwi abantu, ukuhlolwa. Kodwa nakho okuhlangenwe nakho okungahle kwenzeke kungenzeka: ukwanda ngokwakho kokugxeka, ukuhlaziywa okuqhubekayo kwezenzo nobuntu bakho konke, ukuhlolwa kabusha kokuhlangenwe nakho.

Ngakho-ke, umuntu onenhlangano ecashile engokomzwelo ungumuntu onokwethenjelwa, ozimisele ukuzishaya ngokugxeka nokuzihlonipha, ngekhono elizwakalayo lokuzwelana nokukwazi ukuzwa imizwa yabanye. Isici sokugcina, ngakolunye uhlangothi, sinikeza lowo muntu ithuba lokuba umngane omuhle, hhayi ukukhathalela imizwa yabanye. Futhi ngakolunye uhlangothi - kuyamkhathaza kakhulu ngokomzwelo, ishintshe ukugcizelela kuye kwabanye abantu. Lokhu kwenza umuntu ancike ekuhlangenwe nakho kwabangaphandle, kanye nokuhlolwa kwabo. Ngempela, abantu abazwelayo bayakwazi ukuzizwa kahle lapho bonke abanye bejabule futhi banomusa.

Kuyini ukucwaninga kwengqondo kuqondwa yilikhwalithi yobuntu?

Ezweni lanamuhla eligcwele ukucindezeleka, inhlangano engokomoya efihlekile ingamelana nendlela yokuguqula umuntu onjalo ngokuphumelelayo. Uhlala ephendula ngokweqile kulokho okukwenzekayo, kunzima ukuphuma kulo, okuholela ekubhekaneni okuqhubekayo kwesimiso sezinzwa. Yiqiniso, lesi simiso asiholeli kunoma yini enhle njengomphumela.

Isimo sokuhlola kwangaphandle kwezenzo nezimfanelo zabo kungenza umuntu onengqondo abe yizinkathazo. Ngokuvamile kubonakala kubantu abanjalo ukuthi labo abazungezile bajwayele ukubenzela kabi, yingakho besaba ukuveza, bavelele, futhi ngokuvamile bahlele oxhumana nabo abasha. Ngokwengqondo, ukucwiliswa okunjalo ngokwakho, ukududuzeka ngokuba yedwa ngokwakho, hhayi enkampanini, kubizwa ngokuthi introvertirovannostyu (kusukela esenzweni sesiLatini - "isenzo esiqondiswe ngaphakathi"). Ama-introverts, ngokungafani ne-extroverts, angase abe nenhlangano engokomoya ecashile, ngoba ihloswe ngokuhlaziya okujulile okuhlangenwe nakho kwangaphakathi, hhayi ekusebenzisaneni kwangaphandle nabantu.

I-Hypersensitivity ibuye ihlotshaniswe nokufutheka komuntu. Kuyaziwa ukuthi uzwela olunzulu oluhlangenwe nakho, ukushintsha okusheshayo kusuka kwesimo sengqondo kuya kwesinye kuwuphawu oluthe xaxa kubantu abakwa-choleric ne-melancholic kunokuthi abantu base-sanguine kanye nabantu abathandekayo. Kulezi zinhlobo ezimbili zokugcina, amandla okugqugquzela okubangela ukusabela kufanele kube okuphakeme kakhulu kunezo ezimbili zokuqala. Kodwa-ke, ukusabela kwe-choleric ne-melancholic kulesi simo kuzophinde kuhluke. Owayekade eziphatha kabi, uyashesha futhi angabonisa ngaphandle. Okwesibili kungokwezifiso ezengeziwe "ukuhoxisa ngaphakathi," isikhathi eside ukuzwa intukuthelo ngaphakathi nokukhulula imizwelo eqoqwe ngokukhala.

Uma ufingqa ukubukwa kwengqondo ngalesi simo, ungathola ifomula enemibandela: inhlangano yomphefumulo ofihlakeleyo uzwela, uhlobo oluthile nolunamafutha aluhlaza.

Ungubani, uhlobo olunezinhlangano ezibucayi ezingokomzwelo?

Ngaphezu kobunzima obungabhekana nomuntu ozwelayo, unamakhono amaningi namathuba angatholakali kwabanye. Emva kwakho konke, inhlangano yemiphefumulo efihlekile iwukuqala kokuzwela, ukucola, ikhono lokuqonda incazelo ejulile yalokho okwenzekayo, hhayi nje igobolondo yangaphandle, ukuguquguquka kwemvelo, ukuhawukelwa nokwamukelwa, kanye nokuncintisana okuthuthukisiwe kwezobuciko.

Bonke abaculi, abaculi, abaculi, izazi zefilosofi, abadansi kanye nabafundisi bezesayensi bezesayensi abantu abanomphefumulo ofihlakeleyo. Ubuhlakani buyindlela evelele yomzwelo womuntu. Ngakho-ke, lapho kukhona uhlobo lobuciko, kukhona inhlangano engokomoya ehlakaniphile.

Impumelelo emikhakheni eminingi yobuchwepheshe ayinakwenzeka ngaphandle kwesici esinjalo, ngaphandle kokukwazi ukuqonda nokuzwa omunye umuntu. Okokuqala, isebenza nabantu. Nguyena ohloswe ukusiza omunye - kwengqondo, ukufundisa, ukukhulisa, ukuzithandela nabanye abaningi. Futhi Yebo, yonke imisebenzi yokudala.

Ukuphumelela kwalezi zisebenzi ngokuqondile kuxhomeke ekutheni ukwazi ukuqonda izidingo zomunye umuntu, ukuze ukwazi ukuthonya izwe lakhe langaphakathi ngokusebenzisa izinsimbi ezihlukahlukene (amagama, ubuciko) ukuze usize, ufundise noma nje uhlale phansi. "Umuntu udinga umuntu," njengoba kwaziwa enkondlweni. Lowo ozoba khona, futhi kukhona umuntu ohlelekile.

Iseluleko esiyinhloko kubantu abanenhlangano engokwenyama engokomoya

Njengoba kuphawulwe izazi zengqondo kanye nezinye izazi zefilosofi, ukulungiswa kwengqondo nomphefumulo womuntu kufanele kuvikelwe. Isazi sefilosofi uTushkin VR sithi isipho esimangalisayo sokubona umhlaba kuzo zonke izinhlobonhlobo zayo, kuzo zonke izithunzi kanye nezincazelo. Kodwa asikho isidingo sokuvumela leli zwe langaphandle ukuthi lizilimaze, lenze kube lusizi futhi livivinye njalo amandla.

Inqwaba yemiphumela emibi emuntwini ingamgqilaza, imenze ibe yisiphakamiso, uma engavumi ithonya elibi elivela ngaphandle. Phila ngokuvumelana neskripthi sakho, ukhululeke ekubandlululweni kwangaphandle futhi uzizwe ukhululekile ngaphakathi kwakho - yilowo nalowo okufanele alwele. Ukuze kube nokuhleleka okuhlelekile, ngokomzwelo, kunoma ubani, kubalulekile ukuba ukwazi ukuvikela umhlaba wakho wangaphakathi.

Lokhu akusho ukuthi uphendule ukuhlukumeza kobudlova. Kubalulekile ukuthi intando embi yezwe langaphandle ayithinte neze isimo sangaphakathi somuntu. Lokhu kungafezwa kuphela ngokuzithuthukisa, ukwenza umsebenzi wokwamukelwa komuntu siqu, ukuqwashisa ngokungafani nokuhle.

Amazwi abalulekile mayelana nenhlangano yomphefumulo ecashile

Akubona bonke abacwaningi abavumelanako ukuthi inhlangano enhle yomuntu kufanele ihlolwe uhlobo oluthile nokuthi likhona ngokujwayelekile. Ngokombono wabo, lokhu kuyisethi yezimpawu ezithile (hhayi okungcono kakhulu) eziphazamisa ukuphila kuphela.

Isibonelo, amahloni angumphumela wokuba khona kwezinkimbinkimbi, imizwelo - izinzwa, izimo ezihlukumezayo nokuhluleka ukulawula izifiso zabo, nokuzwela okukhulu - ukukhathazeka nje.

Ukugxekwa kugxila ekuqinisweni ukuthi kulula kakhulu ukuzicabangela ukuthi ungumuntu omuhle. Ngenxa yokuthi ungaziqhenya ngomthwalo wempilo yakho futhi ungenzi umzamo wokushintsha. Kukholelwa ukuthi zonke izimfanelo ezinjalo zingaqedwa ngokuzikhandla.

Yiba noma kunjalo, iningi liyavumelana nokukhona kwemfuneko ethile (isibonelo, ukuzalwa komzimba, njengokwentando) okwenza umuntu oyedwa abe ozwela kunabanye. Kodwa yini okufanele uyenze ngalokhu nokuthi ngabe ungenzani noma yini - ilungelo lokukhetha wonke umuntu.

Inhlangano yomphefumulo omuhle kubesifazane nabesilisa

Ngokuvamile bakholelwa ukuthi inhlangano ecasulayo yenhliziyo yentombazane ivame kakhulu kunekhwalithi efanayo emadodeni. Yiqiniso, abesifazane bangokwemvelo nangokwengeziwe. Izimfanelo ezinjengokukhathalela, ububele, ukuzwela zikhona kuye. Ngenkathi indoda ibilokhu ibhekwa njengomnqobi nomvikeli.

Kodwa phakathi kobulili obunamandla kunezinto ezibucayi futhi ezihlelekile kahle. Ngokuvamile bakhetha umsebenzi wecebo lokudala. Inhlangano efihlakeleyo yomphefumulo wendoda ivame ukuhambisana nokungavikeleki, ukufuna indawo yakhe, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo lo muntu unakekela kakhulu, angase asekele, alalele. Uyakwazi ukukhuluma ngemizwa yakhe, okuyinto evame ukuyenza abesifazane.

Yini abantu okufanele bayenze ngenhlangano engokomzwelo engokomzwelo?

Labo abanesimo sabo sengqondo, ukukhungatheka nokuthembela emibonweni yabanye kubonakalisa izinga eliphezulu lokuphila, unganikeza izincomo ezimbalwa.

• Yeka ukulenga amalebuli kuwe. Ukusebenza ngokwakho kufanele uqale ngendlela yokucabanga. Mane nje - ungaye uzicabange njengomuntu onenhlangano engokwenyama engokomoya. Ungasebenzisi le nkulumo ngokuqondene nawe. Yeka ukuzibeka esimweni salesi sigaba sabantu, futhi kuyoba lula ngawe ukuba ubone ubuthakathaka bakho ngabanye njengabo ongabhekana nabo.
• Ngokusondela ekuqinisweni. Abantu abakhayo futhi abanobuhlungu kanengi baqaphele (futhi ngezinye izikhathi baziqaphele) bazikhomba ngokwabo ngabalingiswa bezingqikithi ezincwadini, kuma-movie, njll. Bafuna ukuhlala ezweni elihle lapho umlando uphela khona ngokuphela kokujabula. Indoda enenhlangano engokomoya ehlakaniphile ibheka lokhu okuyisilinganiso okufanele umuntu alwele. Kodwa empilweni yangempela, konke kwenzeka ngezindlela ezahlukene. Kubalulekile ukubheka iqiniso lokuthi lizungezile umuntu, ukutadisha izindaba zangempela ezimpilweni zabantu, ukubheka yonke imicimbi kanye nezenzo ezivela ema-angles ahlukene. Isibonelo, ukuzibulala ngenxa yothando olungathandwayo kungabonakala, ngakolunye uhlangothi, njengobufakazi obuningi bokuzizwa kwangempela, futhi ngakolunye uhlangothi - njengokubonakaliswa kobuthakathaka obuvamile, ukungakwazi ukwamukela isimo nokubhekana nayo.
• Sebenza ngobuthakathaka. Ngemizwelo ephakeme, kufanelekile ukufunda indlela yokulawula imizwelo yomuntu, ngokuzwela okukhulu nokuvezwa kokucindezeleka, ukufunda izindlela zokuphumula. Futhi ukubhekana neuroses nemiphumela yezimo ezibuhlungu, kungcono ukuzisebenzisana nomuntu wezokwelapha. Ngenkinga ngayinye, kunesixazululo esifanele isihloko esihlukile sokucabangela.

Izindlela zokuzisiza ezivamile

Iseluleko kubantu abanomphefumulo omuhle wempilo kufaka phakathi izindlela ezinje zonke ezisetshenziselwa abanye abaningi ukulinganisela isimo sengqondo, ukudala indlela yokuphila enhle kakhulu:

• Ukwamukela imizwelo yakho. Ngokuvamile umuntu ubhapathizwa kakhulu ezweni elihlangenwe nakho kwakhe ukuthi uzizwa lingenathemba. Kulokhu, ukuqaphela okuhlangenwe nakho komuntu kusiza (i-monologue yangaphakathi, isibonelo: "Yebo, ngisesaba manje"), inhloso yakhe ("Ngikhathazekile ngoba ...") nendlela yokuphuma ngayo ("Kodwa lokhu kuzophela, lokhu Hhayi kuze kube phakade, "Ngizokuphatha" noma: "Wonke umuntu uphenduka ngale ndlela kulesi simo, angiyona into ehlukile," njll).
• "Ukukopela imizwelo." Esimweni esenza okuhlangenwe nakho okungajabulisi, yenza okuphambene nezenzo zakhe. Isibonelo, umuntu onobudlova kufanele amomothe futhi afise usuku oluhle; Ekuhlaselweni kokunganakwa nokudangala ukuqala ukwenza noma yini, uma nje kwakuyisenzo (ngisho nangenangqondo); Ngokuzenzekelayo ukuba ungahlanganyeli imizwelo yabo enzima uma kuwumkhuba wokwenza kanjalo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, umkhuba wokwenza okuhlukile uzolungiswa futhi uzoba yindlela yokusebenza engokwemvelo, engenzi lutho.
• Funda ukuhlala "lapha nakwamanje." Lesi simiso esaziwa kakhulu sokusebenza kwengqondo kuyasiza kakhulu kulokhu. Ngempela, kusho ukuthini igama elithi "ezicashile"? Abantu bakhuluma ngenhlangano engokomoya, okusho impilo emhlabeni jikelele, ukucabanga ukuthi kungaba kanjani. Kulesi simo, kufanelekile ukuguqula lokho okwenzekayo ngalesi sikhathi, ngokuqondile kule ndawo. Qaphela izenzo ezenziwe ngesikhathi esithile, ngaphandle kokuchitha amandla okucabanga ngalokho okungenzeka kungenzeki.
• Funda ukuphumula. Ukususa ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo kuyisici esibalulekile ekusebenzeni nakho okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho. Kunezinhlelo eziningi ongakhetha kuzo ukunambitha kwakho: ezemidlalo, yoga, ukuzindla, aromatherapy nezinye.

Ukuqeqeshwa kokuzwela, noma labo abangenayo?

Ngenkathi abantu abaningi becabanga ngalokho okufanele bakwenze ngenhlangano engokomoya efihlekile, bonke abanye bakhathazekile ngendaba yokuthuthukiswa kwayo. Futhi akumangazi: ikhono lokuqonda okuhlangenwe nakho komunye umuntu, ukubikezela izenzo zakhe - izimfanelo ezibalulekile ekusunguleni ubuhlobo obuseduze, kanye namakhono adingekayo kwamanye amasimu ochwepheshe.

Sekuyisikhathi eside ama-Psychologists akha isitifiketi okuthiwa ukuqeqeshwa, noma "imihlangano yeqembu." Kulezi zigaba, abantu bazama ukufeza imigomo ethile:

• Ukwandiswa kwezikhali zokuziphatha;
• Ukuthuthukiswa kokuziqonda nokuqonda komunye umuntu;
• Ukuthuthukiswa kokubona okubonakalayo kweqiniso;
• Ukwanda kwekhono lomphakathi.

Yiqiniso, akunakwenzeka ukuba nawo wonke izimfanelo zomuntu onenhlangano engokomzwelo engokomzwelo ngemuva kokuqeqesha. Kodwa ukuthuthukisa ezinye zezimfanelo zakhe, abantu abaningi bacabanga ukuthi bayasiza. Ukuqeqeshwa okunjalo kusiza abahlanganyeli beqembu ukuthola amakhono anjalo asevele anabantu abanobucayi:

• Ukuqaphela (ikhono lokunaka ukutadisha umuntu, ukukhumbula ukubukeka nokukhuluma kwakhe);
• Ikhono lokubeka phambili imibono mayelana nezimbangela zokuziphatha kwabantu, mayelana nemizwa yabo kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo;
• Ikhono lokubikezela ukuziphatha komuntu ngokulixhumanisa nohlobo oluthile lobuntu;
• Ikhono lokuqonda omunye umuntu futhi wamamukela kuzo zonke izici zezimfanelo zakhe, imizwelo nezindlela zokuziphatha.

Ingabe kufanele ngilwe nami?

Indoda noma owesifazane wenhlangano engokwenyama engokomoya akuyona into ejwayelekile engavamile ezweni eligcwele ukucindezeleka nokuncintisana. Njengoba kungabonakala, ubungakanani bezimfanelo ezibalulekile abaphethwe zona zinkulu kakhulu kunani lobubuthakathaka. Ngakho kufanelekile ukulwa nawe? Ingabe kufanelekile ukuzenzela omunye umuntu ngokwezindleko zakho?

Izazi ze-psychologists zabantu bakholelwa ukuthi umuntu ngamunye uhle ngendlela yakhe. Into kuphela okufanele ulwela ukuvumelana nayo. Ungakwazi ukunqoba ukuzwela ngokweqile, kodwa ungajabuli. Futhi ukuzitholela ngokwakho, uzizwa ukhululekile ngokwakho kungaletha ukwaneliseka okulindelwe isikhathi eside.