4 imikhuba engalimaza ingxoxo

Kungani engangibizanga? Kungani engazange ahlasele amahlaya ami? Kungani bengasafuni ukuhlangana nokuxoxa? Uke wazizwa ukuthi wenze okuthile okungalungile futhi ngaleyo ndlela wabulala ingxoxo (noma, nakakhulu nakakhulu, ubuhlobo)?

Uma siphila ezweni elihle, singakwazi ukuhlola amakhono ethu okuxhumana ngosizo lwemishini ekhethekile futhi sithole ukuhlaziywa okuningiliziwe. Singafunda ngokuningiliziwe ngazo zonke izikhwepha zethu, ubuthakathaka, imikhuba emihle nembi, ngisho nangesitayela sethu.

Ngenhlanhla, unomngani omuhle ongakutshela ukuthi yini engalungile ngendlela okhuluma ngayo. O, awunakho lokho? Ungakhathazeki, awusiye wedwa. Uma senza amaphutha engxoxweni, iningi lethu ngeke likwazi ngakho. Abantu bavele banqume ukuthi bangakhulumi nathi. Futhi awukwazi ukukusiza.

Mhlawumbe awunayo umngane noma imishini ekhethekile eveza amaphutha akho, kodwa ungacabangela izinkinga ezivame kakhulu phakathi kwengxoxo. Ngemva kokuzihlolisisa wena, uzokwazi ukuqinisekisa ukuthi ngeke usuqede izingxoxo zakho nobudlelwane bakho.

Ake sihlolisise imikhuba emine eyisisekelo engxoxweni.

1. Ungumfundisi?

Ucabanga ukuthi uhlala uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde wathini lokho okushiwo yi-interlocutor yakho? Uma ethi "I-movie epholile" uthi "Yebo, kwakuyi-movie enkulu"? "I-Parrots" yenza sengathi bayakhuluma, kodwa, empeleni, abenzi lutho. Bafana ne-echo uma bephindaphindiwe ngemuva kokunye.

Uma uqonda lokho okuphindaphindiwe njalo kumuntu, zama ukungeza emigqeni yakho imibono yomuntu siqu kanye nokuphawula okuphawulekayo.

2. Ungumvampu onamandla?

Ungatshela izindaba ezithakazelisayo futhi ubonise umbono wakho, kodwa uma ungasisekeli konke lokhu ngemizwelo, abantu bangafinyelela esiphethweni sokuthi kunzima kakhulu ukulalela. Ukuntuleka komzwelo namandla ngesikhathi yengxoxo kungalimaza le ngxoxo ngokushesha kunanoma yimuphi omunye umkhuba omubi. Ingxoxo enhle kufanele ibe bukhoma, futhi abakwa-interlocutors kufanele bahlanganyele amandla ngenkathi benza lokhu. Uma amandla engeveli kuwe, cishe cishe uyayithatha.

Cabanga ukuthi yiliphi izwi lakho - i-roller coaster yabalaleli. Ingabe udala uhambo oluphambene nolunzima? Zama ukwenza i-roller coaster yakho ijabulise kuzilaleli ezithile. Shintsha ijubane, engeza ama-accents, shintsha i-intonation bese ugcizelela amagama angukhiye.

Futhi ngaphandle kwalokho, bhala izwi lakho kurekhoda. Empeleni, funda lesi sigaba ngezwi lakho evamile futhi ulalele ukurekhoda. Uma ungakaze wenze lokhu ngaphambili, uzomangala.

3. Ungumlandisi wezindaba?

Umlandeli obikezelayo uhlala ezweni eliyingozi futhi langempela. Uma umuntu onjalo engena ekhishini bese umbuza ukuthi uya kuphi, uzohlale ethi: "Ekhishini." Konke okushiwo abantu abanjalo kuyakulinganiswa, abakwazi ukukumangaza ngento ethile. Futhi, ngokuphambene nalokho, umlandisi odlalayo angaphendula umbuzo ngokungalindelekile, futhi awukwazi ukuthi yini ongayilindela kuyo. Lokhu kufanele kube yingxoxo: edlala futhi engalindeleki.

Njalo uqeqesha ingqondo yakho ukuze ukwazi ukuphendula impendulo engalindelekile ngesikhathi. Ngesikhathi esilandelayo lapho omunye ekubuza umbuzo noma ukuphawula kokuthile, cabanga ngempendulo ukuze kube yinto edlalayo futhi engalindeleki (ngaphakathi kwesizathu). Emva kwalokho, sebenzisa enye yamazwana owasungula futhi ubone ukuthi kwenzekani. Uyomangala.

4. Ingabe ungumngane weqiniso?

Ama-Narcissists bakhetha ukukhuluma ngabo. Isizathu sokuthi kungani bangabuza omunye umuntu ukuthi wachitha kanjani ngempelasonto ukuhumusha ingxoxo kuye. Bangeke bathi okuthile okufana nalokhu: "Kuhle ... kodwa ngeke ukholwe ukuthi kwenzekani kimi." Ukuxhumana nomuntu onjalo akunakwenzeka ukuletha injabulo. I-Daffodils ayifuni ukuba nesithakazelo ezindabeni zomunye umuntu ngokungenabugovu noma ebuza imibuzo eyengeziwe. Umgomo oyinhloko we-narcissist kunoma yikuphi ingxoxo ukufakazela kubo bonke abakuzungezile ukuthi uphumelele kunabo bonke abanye.

Lokhu kulula ukulungisa uma unesithakazelo esiqotho ezindabeni zomunye umuntu. Uma othile ekutshela ngawe, gxila kulo muntu, buza imibuzo eholayo futhi wenze imibono ezobonisa i-interlocutor ukuthi ulalele ngokucophelela.