Self-kulinywe, Psychology
Kubonakala kimi ukuthi angikuthandi ingane. Yini okumelwe uyenze? iseluleko wezengqondo
"Nginganithandi ingane yami ..." Ukuze amantombazane amaningi, le nkulumo ingase ibonakale ingavamile ngokuphelele kanye silly, kodwa eqinisweni kwenzeka ukuthi umzali engazizwa lutho maqondana nengane. Ngaphezu kwalokho, odokotela bengqondo umndeni ukuthi ukuphila okungenani kanye, kodwa yilowo nalowo wesifazane kukhona umqondo ukuthi akamthandi umntwana wakhe. Enye into ukuthi zonke umama evamile uzama kweso amhambise ngemoto aye kude, futhi kuba ngokuphelele efanele.
Futhi uma inkampani Sekuyisikhathi eside ejwayele omama alithembekile abashiya izingane zabo ukuba zinakekelwe umbuso, coldness yowesifazane ukukhulisa umntwana abanamusa kakhulu. Futhi ukuze ukuxazulula inkinga, into yokuqala okumelwe uyenze ukuze uthole imbangela, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ingaba kakhulu.
Ilinde ingane
Elijwayele bakholelwa ukuthi ukukhulelwa - kuyinto ingane ujabule elinde isikhathi ukuvela ngiphumela ekukhanyeni. Kodwa ngokuvamile lokhu akunjalo, umzimba ehlupheka izinguquko eqinile, futhi nabo izinkinga kanye nokuhlukumezeka. I-oda entsha ngosuku, futhi ingasaphathwa izintandokazi ukunambitheka nokuziphatha! Ngakho ngezinye izikhathi engawuboni abamthandayo ngubani ukhula, eqinisweni ngenxa ke kuye kwadingeka bakhuthazelele zonke kugucuka.
Futhi ekhulelwe okungahlelelwe, okuyinto sishintsha izinhlelo ukuphila ngokuphelele, yingakho umama okhulelwe kunzima bakwemukele nezinguquko oluzayo. Ngezinye izikhathi wayeze Ubamba imishwana efana: "Angiyithandi ingane okhulelwe!" Uma izinto ngale ndlela, ekuqaleni kwawo-ukwethuka. Ngokuvamile, nge obhekwe ingane engazalwa noma ngokushesha kakhulu wabonakaliswa isazela kwabakhulelwe.
Izinsana
Kodwa kukhona enye indlela. Esikhathini sokuqala izinsuku, amasonto futhi ngezinye izikhathi izinyanga, unina engazizwa nhlobo umuzwa nengane. Futhi lokho kulungile. Ngokuvamile-ke lo mkhuba ngokuthi ukucindezeleka emva kokubeletha, izimbangela zezinkumbulo okuyinto kunzima ukuphenya, ngoba ngokuvamile abesifazane bayabesaba ukungamukeleki emphakathini bese uzama basakaze kancane ngenkinga yakho. Sekukonke esesabeka akulutho: kuthatha isikhathi esifushane, futhi emva kokubeletha ukucindezeleka sihamba nokunganaki, melancholy, uvalo. Futhi esikhundleni sabo kuza okukhulu nothando lukamama izingane zabo. Futhi kwethuse ukucabanga ukuthi akunjalo kudala ekhanda lami baphotha imishwana: ". Angiyithandi ingane '
Kwenzeka ukuze imbangela kungaba ukuphoxeka elula. Unethemba ukubona cute encane, kodwa kaningi umntwana wakhe esezelwe hhayi kuhle kakhulu, kanjalo ubeka izaba okulindele. Phela, njengoba kwabesifazane, ngoba kuye, futhi, ukubeletha kukhona ezicindezelayo. Kodwa ngokushesha konke zizoshintsha, futhi kuyoba umama isidalwa emnene. Futhi zonke iphutha ukucindezeleka kwangemva kokubeletha, ukunyamalala yayo kuyokwenzeka zonke nemizwelo emibi, futhi zonke izinhlobo ukungabaza.
Ngezinye izikhathi imbangela kungaba sokukhulelwa eziyinkimbinkimbi noma ukuzalwa nzima. Ebuhlotsheni enganakile, unina usola umntanakhe ngokusebenzisa lokho yena abhekana nakho. Kodwa kwasheshe kuzodlula. Futhi lokho iphuzu wakwenza lokhu uthando - ku imizuzwana embalwa yokuqala, noma inyanga, akunandaba, ngenxa zonke umama angathanda ngomntanakhe sinamandla ngokulinganayo.
ingane kakhulu izithenjwa
Kwenzeka ukuthi ingane ngokweqile iyasebenza, futhi akukuniki unina ukuphumula kancane, ngoba yilokhu udinga sihlale njalo siqaphele umntwana. Futhi phakathi kwezinye izinto, banemithwalo yemfanelo ekhaya, emsebenzini, nezinye izinto. Le ntombazane yayingazi ukuthi isikhathi sokuphumula, okuyinto ebaluleke kakhulu kunoma yimuphi umuntu. Ngakho, umthwalo ngokweqile kuboniswa Umbono ophambene umntwana, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngisho wabanjwa ngizibuze ukuthi kuyangicasula ingane siqu. Ulaka kungaba ubani, ngisho infraction ezincane kakhulu.
Lokhu inkinga isixazululekile kuye ngezinga kanina ukukhathala. Kungenzeka okungenele ngempelasonto ukuthatha ingane emndenini, lo wesifazane usuke ukuba yedwa, ukuchitha isikhathi on ngokwabo, ehlukahlukene ukuzifundela noma umane ukulala. Bese namabutho entsha ingahamba emuva ingane yakho, futhi ngokuvamile ekupheleni ngempelasonto uqala miss ingane yakhe.
Uma inkinga Seledlulise amalawulo, lona on the esengozini ukuphazamiseka kwemizwa, khona-ke ukukhetha okungcono iwukufuna usizo onguchwepheshe. Kodwa kulokhu unina angeke uthi, "Angithandi ingane." Kukhona nje kuthinta ukukhathala anqwabelene kanye nobuhlungu ngokweqile.
kid kakhulu iziphoxi
"Nginganithandi ingane yami ngoba wayengumuntu ofundile kakhulu" - sengathi kungase kuzwakale kuxakile, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi yilokho abazali bazizwa izinyane kom abafundile. Uma leyo ngane izokwazi smart kakhulu, efundile futhi kontanga waso ngokulandela okushiwo ezingeni lolwazi, futhi ngezinye izikhathi abadala, esikhundleni sokuzizwa nokuziqhenya ukungapheleli siqu kuphela eduze kwakhe. Abazi ukuthi baziphathe kanjani, futhi into kuphela ukwenze njalo wamthukuthelela lembuzi, nakuba beqaphela ukuthi eqinisweni iyiphutha, kanye nomntwana neze kufanele asolwe. Futhi umphumela uhlobo umjikelezo omubi.
Kodwa izinkinga eziyinhloko zale nkinga wukuthi abazali akuvamile bevuma ukuthi nabo kukhona omunye. Bangase bathole kunzima ukuvuma kucace ngokwabo futhi basho lochwepheshe kanye kungaba kungabaza. Futhi ngakho ingane ekhula emndenini lapho abazali ke iyisikhumbuzo njalo yokwehluleka kwabo. Isinqumo lesifanele kunazo kuzosiza ochwepheshe noma izincwadi shtudirovanie ukuthi wakhuluma ngale ndaba.
usakhula
Nge ingane ifinyelela eminyakeni yokuthomba emikhayeni eminingi uqale eyinkimbinkimbi, ngoba ngezinye izikhathi ngisho ingane lithambe kakhulu iqala ukuba baziphathe ngokuphelele budedengu. Futhi lapho muva wanqoba ukuqonda nothando, lesi sifo iqala. Izingane abachwensayo abazali babo, nalabo yena, Liyindawo nokuthuka ukuphendula uthando nokunakekela uthole ukuchwensa luhlaza. Ngenxa yalokhu, baqala athukuthelele ingane futhi kancane kancane sisuke kuye. Ngezinye izikhathi, ngisho izinhliziyo yokudlala le nkulumo kanje: ". Angiyithandi ingane ' Lo mfana naye unomuzwa wokuthi lesi simo sengqondo sesishintshile, uqala lokubhikisha ngendlela wayazi - intukuthelo futhi ukuba luhlaza. Iningi ngokuqinisekile zizokhanga wezifo umndeni, uchwepheshe ukusiza ukuthuthukisa ubudlelwane emkhayeni nokubafundisa babe baletha ingane kusukela kwabazali isimo ukucindezeleka. Phela, kusho ukuthi ungaba yingozi kakhulu kulesi simo wukuthi yokuthomba kuzodlula, kodwa recriminations nenzondo futhi ngeke eziyohlala phakade.
ingane unkosikazi ukuba ibuye emshadweni wayo wokuqala
Ngokuvamile, lapho umshado ibhidliza, ingane uyaqhubeka ihlala nonina wakhe. Futhi lapho ukuphila yentombazane kukhona umuntu omusha, kwenzeka kudingeke ahlale nengane, ukufundisa kwakhe noma, okungenani, nje ukuxoxa.
Ngokuvamile ekhethwe bengena endlini, uzicabangela yena igunya futhi iqala ukuqondisa ingane, uyifundise futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngisho zidinga. Akulungile kakhulu ukucabanga ukuthi ingane kufanele ngokushesha ngokungenamibandela ukulalela. Ingane ngayinye uyaqaphela ukuthi bonke abadala zihlukile, futhi noma kunjalo kubalulekile ukuthi uqale uhlonishwe nothando lwakhe, ikakhulukazi uma ingane uyaqhubeka ukuxhumana noyise. Kulokhu, ayengaqondi ukuthi imisebenzi umuntu omusha. Futhi yingakho, uma izizwa ingcindezi ngakulona, iqala ukubonisa uhlamvu yayo ngohlangothi ezimbi. Lokho kubanika, omubi ihlangabezana usingababa futhi kuhambisana impendulo. Okhethiweyo uthi: "Angiyithandi ingane umkakhe ukuba ibuye emshadweni wayo wokuqala."
Yini okumelwe uyenze? Indlela ukuxazulula le nkinga? Kodwa ubawinele indawo yayo izenzo nesimo sakhe esihle. Kakade izingane zinhle kakhulu ukuqagela imizwa isipiliyoni kubo. Futhi unganakile baqonde isimo sengqondo kuwe: Ingabe uyabathanda, noma nje njengoba izinkinga okuyinto ukuvimbela umuntu omusha ukwakha ubudlelwano nomama wakhe. Futhi akufanele sikhohlwe ukuthi kwaba usingayise wakhe lihlasela indlela komkhuba ukuphila, ngakho uyala ukuba azame ukuxhumana.
Omunye umehluko wemisindo nemiqondo yamagama ezibaluleke kakhulu ekuxazululeni izinkinga - Ngalesi sikhathi, okuyilona elidingekayo ukuze umuntu ingane ukuba ngempela uqale nenhlonipho nothando isahluko umndeni olusha.
Ngezinye izikhathi, naphezu kwayo yonke imizamo yokuthuthukisa ubuhlobo bethu, kungaphumeleli, ingane akawuthandi usingayise wakhe, ababengakholelwa simthande. Futhi bonke ubudlelwano engasoze ngcono. Isikhathi esining impela, isizathu itholakala lokuthi ukuthi unina wengane unomona we esisha esikhethiwe. Phela, ngaphambi kokufika "upapa" esisha bonke ukunakwa yalotshelwa kuphela kuye, kodwa manje lahlukaniswa. Yaba kancane, nezinyane lembuzi wesaba ukuthi konke iyovele ibhebhetheke. Ngakho uqala athulule lonke omubi wakhe umuntu omusha, okuyinto yena, kungabangela ukusabela. Futhi zemvelo ngokuphelele, akumangalisi ukuthi enhliziyweni yakhe, indoda enquma: ". Angiyithandi ingane umkakhe ukuba ibuye emshadweni wayo wokuqala" Ngisho noma ku arsenal of ulwazi ufunde izincwadi bese ulalele izinkulumo pedagogy, ukuze bakwenze lokhu nolwazi kungaba nzima uma imizwa nokufutheka kuyachichima, kuba nzima kakhulu ukucabanga ngendlela ehluzekile.
Ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukuba ukuxazulula imbangela yenkinga, unina kufanele chazela umntanakho ukuthi ngeke umthande kancane ngenxa kushada. Wabuye ezibizayo futhi lalibalulekile kuye, njengasekuqaleni. Kodwa kufanele kuphawulwe ukuthi uma umntanami izozama ukusizakala lesi simo, akunakwenzeka ukuya kulo ngezikhathi ezithile. Futhi kuphela uma kushintshwe ngokugcwele ukuqonda esiphakathi kukamama nosana lwakhe, le usingababa usungaqala ngokuphepha ukwakha ubuhlobo.
Ingane ngomshado komyeni wakhe wokuqala
Lapha isimo kancane ehlukile kunaleyo eshiwo ngenhla. Ngokuvamile, ingane ihlala nonina kanye noyise, efika nje ukuvakashela. Ngakho-ke kuyoba okwanele ukuze usungule ubudlelwane nobungane futhi nginethemba, kodwa kunzima ukwenza kube njalo. "Angiyithandi ngengane emshadweni wokuqala komyeni wakhe" - la mazwi avame wezwa kusukela darling entsha.
Ngokuvamile intombazane ekuqaleni aphanjaniswe. Ngaphambi kokuba bashade, lowo ohlala kwelinye iphupho, ecabanga ukuthi uma uthanda umuntu wakhe amkhethile, ungakwazi uzizwe imizwa efudumele futhi Daze yakhe. Kodwa ukuze baxhumane unezinselele ezinzima kunalezo kubonakala ekuqaleni. Ingane ingase ibe uyise nomona. Lokhu akusona isimanga, ngoba umuntu omusha wabonakala ekuphileni kwakhe. Khona-ke Owesifazane ebona lokhu ngokwakho, nayo ekuqaleni ukuze ungathandi ingane. Kulokhu, udinga nje ukujwayela futhi ukwamukela wodwa. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, cishe, acrimony uhlala kude ngemuva. Kuyaphawuleka ukuthi le ntombazane asikwazi cajole ingane ezihlukahlukene izipho, njengoba ngeke uthando kakhulu kulesi simo, kodwa uyomane siphathe njengobufakazi abathengi.
Kwenzeka futhi ukuthi owesifazane ukukhubeka block siyimali. Wazisola ngokuba imali umyeni wakhe imali ku izingane wangaphambili. Futhi ngezinye izikhathi indoda kokuzizwa benecala, wanikela ngeNdodana yakhe ex-inkosikazi imali eningana kunalowo wamanje. Emndenini kuqale nokuqala ukwenzeka amahlazo kule nhlabathi, bese owesifazane angase athi, "Angiyithandi ngengane emshadweni komyeni wakhe wokuqala" - njengoba ukholelwa ukuthi ngokungaqondile nguye yini ebangela zonke izinkathazo.
Kulokhu, into elungile kungaba ukukhuluma buthule nomuntu oshade naye. Futhi ukuzama ukuhlela isabelomali ngokunembe kakhudlwana, ukuze evumelana kokubili.
Ngezinye izikhathi kuyenzeka, izinyane emshadweni odlule iba isithiyo kokuzalwa ngokuhlanganyela. Owesifazane ufuna umntwana, kodwa indoda kukhala yokuthi asenazo kakade izingane. It kuvela ukuthi umntwana akagcwalisi iphupho yowesifazane. Futhi nangu ingqondo ithatha isihlalo emuva, futhi kukhona kuphela ubutha futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nenzondo. Khona-ke ngokuvamile intombazane ungezwakala: "Angiyithandi ingane yomyeni wakhe!"
Lapha, okokuqala, kubalulekile njalo ukuphinda ukuthi ingane neze awenzanga iphutha futhi awukwazi bayamsola amaphutha abo. Ngaphambi kokuxhuma impilo nomuntu, ikakhulukazi uma Engxenyeni yesibili usunayo i encane ukuba ibuye emshadweni wayo wokuqala, kumelwe uxoxe ngalokhu ehilelekile. Ufuna izingane noma cha? Lesi simo, ngasendleleni, kungathinta ubulili namandla. Kukholakala ukuthi owesifazane abeza kanye indoda entsha, umnikeza ingane ngokuhlanganyela, kodwa lesi sitatimende akulona iqiniso ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ngezinye izikhathi intombazane kakade ingane akusho ufuna waphinda zidlule ekhulelwa noma ebeletha.
Kunoma ikuphi, into esemqoka - ukufinyelela ebucayini, imibhangqwana isifiso mayelana udaba olubaluleke anjalo kufanele kube okufanayo. Phela, kule wakha ubuhlobo obuhle, akunakwenzeka ukuthi umuntu ukubeka umnqumela ugwayi katiki futhi kwakuphambene iimfuneko nezinye. Futhi uma kukhona ebucayini, akunakwenzeka ukuba abesifazane izoba ikhanda lami wacabanga: ". Angiyithandi ingane womyeni wakhe"
umhawu
Ngezinye izikhathi ingane kulungile siphathelene amaziyo entsha noma umngane, ke kungaphazamisi, unganqikazi, akuphazamisi ukuphila, kodwa namanje ngobuhlanya ecasulayo. Ngokuvamile kulezi zimo sikhuluma umhawu. Ngokuvamile isitimu lapho eqala nje ukuhlangabezana isikhathi esiningi ndawonye. Nokho, ne kuyisiqalo sokuphila ngokucabangela ngokuhlanganyela, konke iza izinga yayo, isheduli kuba efanayo, isikhathi kunikezwa ukusebenza, abangane, ukwenza izinto zokuchitha isizungu kanye nengane emshadweni odlule.
Ngezinye izikhathi umngane womshado sengathi ingane uthando ngaphezu kwabo. Ngenxa yalokhu umhawu ubonakalisiwe, futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo ukungathandi ingane. Njengoba ngokuvamile kwenzeka, le nkinga ingaxazululwa izinkulumo. Enough ukukhuluma nomlingani wakho futhi sixoxe ngendlela abalingani ukuhlela ukuchitha yokuzilibazisa isikhathi sabo, kangakanani ukuchitha isikhathi kuso, kungakhathaliseki ukuthatha ingane nawe eholidini. Kufanele kuqashelwe ukuthi zonke izinkinga kumele siyixazululile ngesikhathi socingo, futhi asikwazi Ngethemba ukuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uzokwazi isuse ingane impilo kothandekayo. Futhi okubaluleke - engaphansi ilingisa nemicabango engakhi ukuze axoshe.
Kukhona into eyodwa ngaphezulu: ngezinye izikhathi umhawu ngokwezinga elikhulu hhayi sibhekiswe umntwana, owayeyintombi yakhe umkakho noma umyeni. Kodwa njengoba ingane iba ithuba inkhulumomphendvulwano emkhatsini abashadayo wangaphambili nento jikelele, abantu ngokungazi baqale ukusola ingane. Abakwazi ukubona, ukuhlangabezana noma nikhulume ocingweni. Futhi kwamcabango kungaletha yithemba, + ngakho-ke isivunguvungu yokuthonywa imizwelo engakhi iye bathukuthele ngaphakathi uthola indlela yokuphuma ngale ndlela.
ngeke nje kube ukwazi ukusiza isikhathi ukucabanga okunengqondo. Okokuqala kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi umuntu ngempela, kanti ingane ngokuqinisekile akufanele sisole okwenzekayo, akufanele kusolwe ukungakwazi ukuxazulula lesi simo futhi aqonde imizwa. Okokuqala udinga ukucacisa ukuthi ingabe lezi ukwesaba kukhona izikhathi eziningi ngaphandle kwesizathu, noma ngempela sinesizathu sokuba nomona umngane womshado umphefumulo. Kanti uma usaba - isithelo umcabango, khona-ke kufanele senze ngokwabo futhi ukuqonda izinkinga ngabanye. Ngemva umuntu omuhle futhi uyazethemba Ngeke esabe ukuthi ayoyikhetha omunye.
abanobuntu obuhlukahlukene
Ngezinye izikhathi kuyenzeka ukuthi abantu nje musa ukungenza kungxoxo. Noma umuntu uyavuma: "Angiyithandi nabantwana abancane." Futhi uma ngenxa yezimo ezithile noma umehluko ubunjalo umuntu omusha anikwazi ukuza kanye nengane, kungenzeka, musa bophezela, bese uzama esiphezulu ukunciphisa zokuxhumana wafika ubuhlobo ehloniphekile. Ngokuzayo uzokutshela, mhlawumbe isimo zizoshintsha zibe ngcono esikhathini esizayo.
Into eyinhloko okufanele uyazi ukuthi ingane - kuhle, ngakho udinga noma sibekezelele khona omunye umuntu empilweni labakhethiwe, noma ukwephula ubudlelwano naloyo muntu.
Ingane kusukela umyeni wakhe wangaphambili
Ngezinye izikhathi, kungaba abanye abesifazane wezwa kuthiwa: "Angiyithandi umntwana wokuqala." Mhlawumbe umntwana engahlelelwe futhi umuzwa kuthiwa kade laphela noma abanayo ukuze indoda. Mhlawumbe kwakukhona sokuvalelisa ezibuhlungu. Futhi ngisho nakakhulu, ababekade ululazekile emzimbeni nasekuziphatheni. Bese ngisho Ulakho ukuzwa: ". Angiyithandi ingane umyeni wakhe wangaphambili"
owesifazane ohlukanisile uhlala nesimo esingathi sína ezingokomoya nezingokwenyama. Ngakho-ke, bonke ubuhlungu, ubuhlungu futhi intukuthelo kungathinta ingane. Ngezinye izikhathi bakwatiswe kungububi babo, nje izinzwa akanakuma, futhi ngendlela lo mama ahlahlele ku eseyingane akayithandi. Noma uthando, kodwa ngezikhathi ezithile akwenza ziyacasula.
Indlela ukuxazulula le nkinga enzima? Kubalulekile afunde ukulawula intukuthelo yakhe, noma kunjalo, musa usikhiphele lembuzi, ngoba kungakhathaliseki ukuthi imizwa maqondana intuthu Kumele kukhunjulwe ukuthi umsebenzi oyinhloko - ukuze uveze isidalwa omuhle ongumuntu. Futhi uma itawukhula ibe isimo ungakhululekile futhi uzizwa ukungathandi kuye - ke kunobungozi eziningi ekuphileni kwakhe omdala kamuva. Njengoba ayazi kahle ukuthi ukungathandi wengane ihlobene kuphela yangaphambili, futhi nje ukuyidlulisa zonke wokucasukela noyise wengane, ungayeka wathukuthela, futhi ingane. Khona-ke awazi ngisho isidingo sokuthi ucabange ngakho imishwana efana: ". Angiyithandi ingane ukuba ibuye emshadweni wayo wokuqala"
izingane zabanye abantu
Uma kukhona antipathy maqondana zabanye abantu izingane noma abangane ingane ke kwabanye kungaba inselele, ikakhulukazi uma ungafuni ukulahlekelwa umngane oseduze. Futhi uma uyaqonda ngokucacile: "Angiyithandi umngani wengane" - kulesi simo, zonke ngokucophelela ahlahlele abuye aqonde, ngenxa yalokho-ke kwadingeka imizwa efanayo. Ngokwesibonelo, umngane kuziwa uvakashele nengane, kanye lokudlela osabekayo ukuthi uhlala emva ingane. Isixazululo ezifanele kakhulu kuyotholakala endaweni ethile endaweni hlangothi, isibonelo, cafe. Noma ngisho unciphise wengxoxo nomngane, ukugwema emihlanganweni siqu uvalelele izingxoxo zocingo. Ungakwazi nje ukukhuluma nesithandwa sami futhi ngqo ukuxoxa yini hhayi wanelisa.
"Indlela Uthando Ngisemncane" UJanusz Korczak
Kuyinto ncwadi emangalisayo, okungase kube isinyathelo sokuqala endleleni ukulungisa inkinga nesixazululo. It is a ithuluzi sangempela emfundweni yezingane abazali babo. Kuyokusiza ukuba sibhekane nezinkinga ezibhekene nabazali izingane babo bonke ubudala, kusukela izinsana kuze kube intsha. Futhi konke lokhu okulotshwe ulimi esihle etemibhalo nokusetshenziswa izingathekiso ezithakazelisayo futhi izifaniso master yemagama kanye uthisha ngezenzo zabo J. Korczak.
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